The Virtuous Woman vs. The Glorious Mess That I Am

I have decided to come clean about some things in my life.  Now don't go thinking that you're going to read some juicy gossip here.  I have just come to the conclusion that  there are some things about myself that I just need to stop pretending about.  Here it is.....I am not a Proverbs 31 woman.  I am not.  I just don't think I am that woman.  Yes I strive to be her.  I strive to be a good Christian woman, wife,  and mother.  I strive to be perfect or at least to let all of you think that I am.  But let's be real, no one is all "that woman" all the time.  I'm not even sure she exist in this day and age.  We are flawed people.

I have struggled all my life with trying to measure up to a character that I envisioned for myself.  You know the June Cleaver type whose house is immaculate, organized, always ready for company, dinner on the table at 5 PM every night with every hair in place.  But the truth is, if you come to my house at 5 PM I'm just going to hope there's not a hair in your dinner.

Let's face it, life today is hard.  No it's not the kind of hard that our grandmothers and great grandmothers faced, I mean I'm not going to the creek to wash clothes on a rock by any means, but life today is a different kind of hard.  We as a society have created more task and distractions for ourselves than any other.  Six .....six times is my record for re-washing a load of clothes before I actually got them in the dryer.  Last week the "good towels" became the old towels because they were the only ones clean.  We eat on Styrofoam plates because it's easier than loading and unloading the dishwasher and if my house looks clean I promise you there is a room or closet somewhere that's hiding all the junk.

If you look at the beginning of the Virtuous Woman text, verse 10 is actually a question.  "A wife of noble character who can find?"  So does she even exist?  I can count on about two fingers the women who I've known who actually epitomized the Proverbs 31 woman.   In studying the text, here are a few of the verses that really hit home with me.  (Taken from the American Standard Version)

Vs. 11,12, "The heart of her husband trusteth in her, and he shall have no lack of gain.  She doeth him good and not evil all the days of her life."  Ok tell me that you've never complained about your husband to your girlfriends.  Everyone's spouse has that one habit that drives you crazy right?

Vs. 15, "She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth food to her household, and their task to her maidens"  She is up before dawn planning her day; she's organized.  Oh how I long to be organized but there is no amount of IKEA storage solutions that can make me stay that way.

Vs. 25 "Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laugheth at the time to come."  I'm not that confident in the time to come.  In reality I'm much more likely to worry about the days to come.

Vs. 26 "She openeth her mouth with wisdom and the law of kindness is on her tongue."  I'm afraid in the stress of this life that kindness does not pour from my tongue all the time.

Vs. 28 "Her children rise up and call her blessed....."  The Proverbs 31 woman is revered by her children.  Ask my kids if they revere me and my daughter will tell you about the time I forgot and left her at day care (17 and still scarred) or my son will tell you about the time he broke his thumb at football practice and I gave him a Tylenol and told him to shake it off, (in my defense it was so swollen I couldn't tell it was broke).  We all want everyone to think that our children are little angels when we walk into church when the reality is, we've just screamed at them in the car to stop "looking" at each other.  For some reason Sunday mornings were always the most stressful for me.  So all you mommas out there who drop your kids off at Sunday School and go immediately to the bathroom to pull yourself together and ask God to forgive you for screaming at them, I feel your pain.  You are not alone.

Vs. 31 "Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her works praise her in the gates"  Let her works praise her in the gates.....that one really convicts me.  Do my works speak well of me?  I'm not so sure.

The truth is that Proverbs 31 woman gives us a blueprint of how a woman honors God by working and taking care of her family and those around her.  There is nothing fake or pretentious about her, she is loyal, hard working, capable, willing and wise.

In reality, I will never measure up to the character I have in my mind.  Characters aren't real, they are made up.  I can't compare myself to someone else, I can only strive to be the woman that God has created me to be and I am so glad that God loves and forgives the glorious mess that is me.